Missed Opportunity

A little over a month ago my Mistress allowed me to masturbate. It had been a long time since She had  allowed this pleasure. While deployed this only happened a few times. Instead of thanking her for allowing me to have an orgasm, I was curt and basically just said that the orgasm that she had allowed me to have “was strong to say the least.” I have been out of regular contact with my Mistress for a long period of time and I did not realize how disrespectful I sounded. I should have given a detailed description of my masturbation and orgasm but I did not. This was yet another learning point in my path of submission. I have returned from deployment and saw my Mistress today for the first time in about eight months. I was hoping to be punished for this, as well as other infractions today but I was not prompt in my arrival and the window if opportunity for the punishment that She has planned had passed. I will have to wait yet another week, at least, for my punishment. That is punishment in and of itself that I whole heartedly accept. In the future I will make every effort not to disrespect my Mistress.

Whore: Life v. BDSM & D/s

 A whore, at first thought, is somebody that will participate in any sexual activity,  and who has multiple sexual partners. A whore will do anything for anybody as long as they are getting rewarded, be it with money, drugs, or something else that person requires. A whore will have sex with either sex and any sexual orientation as long as they are getting paid. A whore is considered a lower member of society. To be called a whore would be degrading to that person.

In the context of BDSM and D/s, a submissive would be whored out to others at the discretion of their Owner. Whether it be in person, with the Owner making the sub perform acts on or for another person, or by the Owner sending the whore out to perform sexual acts on another person or people, the whore would do as instructed without hope for personal gratification. 

I would not choose to be a whore in life, but I would willingly serve as my Mistress’s whore, as ordered, in the confines of O/our relationship. To acknowledge that I would willingly serve others at Her command causes my penis to become erect and ache for release. 

Perhaps Mistress will allow me to masturbate and ejaculate.

Pegging

As I begin preparing to return home, I cannot help but think of the manner in which my Mistress will utilize me and violate me. I know that being pegged, and being at Her mercy as she violates me are in my immediate future, because She has told me so. I will beg, though i won’t know what to beg for. I will want Her to stop but i will want Her to take me again. And again. I never question whether She owns me, and Her penetration of my anal cavity will reinforce that knowledge. It is a entire range of feelings that run through my mind when She mentions pegging me. Excitement, fear and anticipation are just a few. I know that I am excited to submit to Her in any way that will further our Dominant/submissive relationship. To think of being put in such a vulnerable and submissive position causes my penis to leak for Her. The thought of my rectum being stretched by the rather large dildo that She owns is scary, yet makes my penis rigid. I have never had to accommodate a penis of that size. I can only imagine the feeling of being completely stretched and full I will experience. I truly look forward to Her violation of my rectum.

Cuckold

I define a cuckold as a submissive who is there to fulfill any and all sexual needs and desires of his Dominant partner. As Your cuckold, i will perform any actions required for Your satisfaction and pleasure. I will either be present as a man penetrates You and brings You pleasure or awaiting Your call to clean him from Your body. I will bathe You and prepare You for your date,  perform oral on Your date to ensure his erection, clean his ejaculate from Your body after he has an orgasm, and clean his penis of Your essence. 

Serving as Your cuckold is degrading but exciting and desirable at the same time. I think that, even though i am physically capable of pleasing You as a male, serving as your cuckold  enables me to fully realize the depths of my submissiveness. Prior to my service to You, I could only imagine watching a woman being pleased by another man. Now, I will gladly kneel and observe You being pleased by another man. You have pushed me well outside of my comfort zone and given me opportunities that I never imagined that i would experience.

The Perfect Penis

My Mistress asked me to share my vision of the perfect penis:

The perfect penis, to me, would be flesh colored, cut, about 8-9 inches long and thick. A large vein would run along the top of the length of the shaft, stopping just before the head. Smaller veins, having a slightly contrasting purple color, would run throughout the penis. The shaft would be ever so slightly smaller at its base but would be uniform in thickness with the head being slightly smaller as well. When I hold it in my hand it would have some heft to it. It would feel substantial. It would have to be rock hard to stand straight out because of the size but when it did, it would be completely straight with no curve to it at all.  When I placed my lips around it, it would be warm, almost hot. There would be no odor as I press my face into Him, but there would be a slight musky smell from the testicles. I would not be able to get it all in my mouth and after even a short time my jaw would begin to ache from opening so wide. The skin would be very soft and feel almost silky in my mouth. After a few moments there would be a slight taste of pre-ejaculate, as I pleasure Him.

My Christmas Gift

For Christmas, my Mistress gave me the gift of masturbating. I had not masturbated in many months. The circumstances and conditions associated with my deployment had not allowed for either communication with my Mistress to request permission to masturbate or the time and privacy to masturbate.

I awoke Christmas morning very early and instantly began to think of the gift She had given me. I began thinking about the times She had instructed me to stand naked in front of Her and my penis instantly became erect. I used saliva as lubricant and began to stroke myself. I closed my eyes and remembered back to the time that She had instructed me to kneel in front of Her, on the floor, and masturbate to completion…forcefully ejaculating as She watched. I then thought about the time that i was allowed to orally please Her, as a reward for a job well done. I then knelt between Her legs and masturbated, quickly ejaculating on Her belly. Then, the thought of licking my ejaculate from Her body put me over the edge. I came with such force that it took my breath away. I spewed my ejaculate into a wash cloth for what seemed like minutes. When i was finally able to catch my breath, i looked at the large amount of ejaculate in the wash cloth; it had been months in the making. I thanked my Mistress promptly for my gift, as my penis belongs to Her.

My Mistress gave me a wonderful gift for Christmas.

Renewed submissiveness

I was very concerned that i had been dismissed after displeasing my Mistress before i was deployed and after being absent for so long. I am relieved that i have not be dismissed. I realize that my Mistress has provided me with a very rare opportunity; to be owned by Her, to learn, and to grow as a submissive. I realize that in my absence, my Mistress has considered the addition of other submissives to serve Her. I desire for her to be well-served both in my absence and presence.

Since communication has been reestablished with my Mistress, after many months, i find that i am in a constant state of arousal and thinking of Her and the tasks that i will be performing as Her submissive. I have had several new fantasies about my Mistress in the past few weeks, that include serving Her with other submissives that She may own, both male and female. I have also fantasized about orally pleasing Her and other male submissives that She may own. My constant arousal seems to make my testicles larger. I am not sure whether it is because there is more ejaculate in them, but i can tell a noticeable difference. Emotionally, i feel a new sense of purpose and look forward to pleasing Her by completing tasks as directed once i return to the United States.